Part Two: The Creation of Lost and Found
What is the purpose of a blog? If you read any of my writing from last week, it explains why I am writing this blog to you here, right now. But in a general sense, I feel that blogs serve to express the significant thoughts and ideas of an individual in which they deem important enough to openly share with others. It is a way to communicate their personal beliefs with a group of people which in turn unites them regardless of the topic of conversation and even has the power to initiate further discussion between those who have read the blog and those who have not. In the simplest sense, it’s just the passing on of information from one person to another. But why is that relevant in this instance? Because--just as a blog brings people together through written word and initiates conversation regardless of the topic, early on in my school career I decided that I was going to use fashion design in the exact same way.
Since my first semester of college and even a little before then, I’ve dreamt of owning my own clothing brand. The concept of designing under someone else’s vision has always been one of my biggest hangups in life and I guess the stubborn, narcissistic artist side of me (something I’ve had to work on over the years) never liked the idea of some higher-up creative director telling me how to use my talents to design clothes--one of the most expressive (in my opinion) mediums of all art. Even if it is for an established, world renowned brand, I want to do it my way...And anyway, what was the point in God giving me my own unique, creative flair that no one else can offer if I can’t even reach my full potential by working for someone else? I remember sitting in my first semester Illustration class listening to my professor lecture us about how we’ll all have to design in the style of the brand that we’re working for some day...Well I thought, “maybe everyone else has to learn how to do that but not me-not if I can help it at least.” I had bigger plans for myself and was praying to God that He felt the same way. And despite many ridiculing me early on for wanting to develop my own brand (because you know, it’s not easy and the likelihood of being successful is slim to none), I was hard pressed to pursue my dream.
**Just as a side note--You’re probably thinking, “what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is wrong with this girl, she’s claiming to be Christian but doesn’t even sound like it, what a hypocrite.” And if you’re thinking that, I agree (to some extent which I’ll explain). This may come as a shock to you, but even as a Christian I still have MANY flaws (which is not justification for my past sinful attitude). Growing up I’ve always had these condescending thoughts lurking around my head and as I refined my talents all throughout school, they seemed to have only gotten worse. It wasn’t until much later on that I became truly ashamed of my pride and arrogance as I claimed to be Christian when I was younger, but didn’t fully live each day according to Christ in the way that I am trying to now. So long story short, I’ve grown since then but in order to relay this story to you as accurately and authentically as possible, I have to also include the not-so-Christian parts of me that lead to where I am today.
So anyway…
...Now, it was in my third semester that my dream of developing any old clothing brand turned into developing my own Christian clothing brand. I remember it like it was yesterday where my eccentric professor (a different one from the first semester) gave us a project that focused on satisfying a need in the world through fashion. Immediately, my peers came up with these high-tech concoctions that were self-warming, ended world hunger, and even (without getting into specifics) prevented certain health conditions which admittedly was pretty awe-inspiring. My mind, however, did not go towards solving a physical problem but rather a spiritual one. I sat in class thinking (as I often did) “how crazy would it be to somehow incorporate Bible verses into a collection that could potentially save somebody on the brink of suicide.” And furthermore, has the ability -God willing- to lead someone on the edge of death to the only Source that grants never ending life. The lightbulb went off, and the gears in my head finally started turning.
But, In an effort to keep this remarkable idea (that God instilled in me-I take no credit for this) under wraps as I was still not even halfway into obtaining my Bachelor’s degree, I decided to design a maternity collection instead. This particular project was of no long-term significance so I figured it would be foolish to waste such an idea on a measly grade. All the while though this concept had been mulling around in my head and did anything but subside.
There wasn’t much freedom for me to explore what had now become an obsession in my fourth and fifth semesters at school. My sixth semester was the first point in which I was able to go full-on Christian designer since by this time everyone was already established in their interests so I was less concerned that a fellow classmate would take this idea and run with it. I spent 12 weeks developing a Garden of Eden-inspired collection that semester which sort of got the ball rolling. Everything turned out peachy-keen despite the inevitable blood, sweat (like, a lot of sweat), and tears but the result wasn’t as climactic as I imagined it to be. In my seventh semester however, -the beginning of the end of my college career- that’s when this Christian clothing thing really started taking off. And actually, it wasn’t even until the Summer before my semester abroad (yes, I studied abroad in my seventh semester which we’ll discuss later) that I wholeheartedly pursued this concept, despite my initial efforts the semester before. It was then that every student was given the task to produce a two-look collection that completely reflected who we were as designers. This was going to be our senior thesis (which was a thousand times better than writing a paper but also meant a thousand times the stress and late nights), and the one collection that potentially hundreds of designers and people from the industry were going to see upon completion. No pressure, right? For the whole Summer, I felt the weight of those words on my shoulders. “This is your chance to show the world who you are as a designer.” But after thinking about it for weeks on end, I started asking myself what truly defined me as a designer when I hardly even designed anything yet. A few sketches, a jacket or two, and some journals were all that I’ve accumulated over the years (or that’s how it felt anyway). What was so important to me that it was worthy of my SENIOR. THESIS. COLLECTION?!
But in God’s perfect timing, I remembered once more--What is the one thing that defines me (or rather Who defines me)? Of course: [My faith in] Jesus Christ. The same lightbulb that went off in my third semester (and sixth) was now lighting up brighter than before and I quickly became overwhelmed with the potential for this final collection. Before long though, I came to the realization that I was going to be presenting this to an essentially godless industry. Then thinking about my friends who were either atheist or Jewish, I couldn’t picture any of them genuinely being able to relate to my Jesus-inspired garments. On top of that, how was I going to portray my faith -something virtually intangible- through wearable, tangible fashion pieces? ...Isn’t it “funny” (though it’s really anything but) how the minute we move one step closer to God, Satan then throws us two steps back? It took me years to strengthen my relationship with Him and weeks to come up with this concept, and now I’ve somehow racked up a laundry list of problems with it. But ultimately it wasn’t the topic that was the issue, it was the question of how I could make this collection relatable and palatable so that everyone who wasn’t Christian would somehow still be drawn into it.
And looking back now, I never should have doubted God’s ability to draw people into my collection because I know that He has the power to do anything including transforming even the most stubborn of atheists so that they might become saved-C.S. Lewis being the prime example. But at the time it seemed like the only way to successfully execute this concept was by bringing something worldly and relatable into it. I envisioned people taking a quick glance at my looks and then swiftly walking away towards absolutely anything else just to avoid having a conversation with the “Jesus freak.” Sometimes being overwhelmingly Christian is not the way to lead someone to Christ. I am all for being bold in my faith because that’s what we’re called to be and I find joy in glorifying God, but to pick something straight out of the Bible just didn’t feel right to me at the time.
Something else that stuck with me all throughout school was my professor telling us that a collection instantly becomes more interesting once you mesh two contrasting or unrelated motifs together, like “outer space” and “boxing” (it was the first two things that popped into my head, just go with it). This ironically enough worked out to my advantage because at the time I was going through a slightly embarrassing Post Malone phase (*obsession*) which was the missing piece to the puzzle (and yes I am aware that his music is not appropriate for Christians but this was before my faith really started becoming the most prominent part of my life). His one song called “Up There” was particularly striking to me all throughout this process, probably being that it was the most existential and spiritual of all his songs in my opinion...I read his lyrics over and over and over and over again for the remainder of the Summer, thinking about how I would translate this into a wearable collection:
After a thorough analyzation (as is typical for me), it occurred to me that Post Malone had hit rock bottom in this song and found himself feeling hurt, confused, hopeless, and - wait for it - lost...I knew that oftentimes God draws us near to Him when we are at our absolute lowest points. What better juxtaposition is there than seeing life without Christ next to life after finding Him? So lo and behold, my senior thesis was born.
If you’ve managed to read this far you’re now probably thinking, “ok so what does your senior thesis have to do with Lost and Found?” And the answer to that is: everything. It wasn’t until I started doing extensive visual research for my thesis collection that I realized just how desperately this industry needed Christ. Fast-forward to halfway through my seventh semester abroad, I found a depressing amount of brands that revolved their collections around hate, negativity, sadness, and just straight-up evil. I wish I could show you specific examples of what I found in my studies, but in fear of getting my pants sued off, I’ll unfortunately have to keep it vague for right now.
But in the same time frame I also stumbled upon an ironically inspiring quote from Johnny Talbot (one-half of the Talbot Runhof brand). He stated:
Though I interpreted this quote entirely differently than how it was probably intended to be interpreted, it inspired me to use my talents and my spot within the fashion industry for GOOD; to glorify God and bring people’s attention to Him. The sheer audacity that designers have to curate collections as brazen as what I had seen really just blew me away. But knowing that Satan is the god of this world (according to 2 Corinthians 4:4) why should I even be surprised?
2 Corinthians 4:1-6 : "Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we do not lose heart. 2 But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God. 3 But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, 4 whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them. 5 For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus’ sake. 6 For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."
So my seventh and eighth semesters in school were ultimately dedicated to sharing God’s Word through my designs. The infamous pandemic hit NYC in March of 2020 so my class’ thesis collections were not as grandiose as anticipated, but still I had the inspiration and motivation needed to carry out this long-lived dream of mine. Fast forward one last time to post-graduation/pandemic life which gave me the opportunity to explore this concept on my own time, without any pressures or the fear of having to hold back. And finally, in December 2020 (wow almost a year ago), I officially began the branding process which upgraded Lost and Found from a passing thought in my head, to what is now my own Christian brand. And although this last year has been a roller coaster to say the least, I am in awe of how much progress God has allowed me to make in this time...I’m eager to see where He’ll lead us in this next year to come and how the Lost and Found brand will (hopefully) impact the lives of others and lead them to Jesus Christ.